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The Red Hand

 
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jack fe



Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Posts: 865

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:21 am    Post subject: The Red Hand Reply with quote

The Red Hand

As I wandred accross the land
One Sunday, I found I hand
Lying in a cornfield in a tangle
As red as the Devil's,
It was, but it was sevred
It's crimson fingers stiff as if with anger

I kicked it with my toe
And it sprang to life you know
It crawled like a red spider a few inches
It pointed to the East as if to say
"Take me there please"
But I thought don't pick it up what if it pinches

So I grabbed it in a net
From as far away as I could get
And off to the East we went, me and this creature
And when a road came into sight
It's thumb when up and hitched a ride
On a school bus full of sunday school nun teachers

But when they got a closer look
They all grabbed thier holy books
And said "that hand is obviously Satan's"
So before we lost our lift
I implored them all like this
"The hand is red but what you said is quite mistaken

This is just a case of finding a new species unknown to science
To just crush it with a Bible would be stupid"
But up one old hag blundred
And said since I was outnumbred
The hand would have to die and she would do it

Down came her heavy book
And blam the hand was squooshed
Like a giant cocroach and totally disgusting
Just like it was spring loaded
Bones, knuckles and gunk exploded
And they all clapped at this supposed act of justice

But just then there came a fuss
From the driver of the bus
And we screached to a dusty stop right there and then
And when the dust had cleared we sobbed
To see a monster like a blob
How many arms had it: 11, and hands: 10

What I happened next I wont replay
But suffice it all to say
When it was done, the beast and I alone were left to stand
It took a bus seat from the junk
And attached it to it's stump
So I'd become, excuse the pun, his hired hand

And the play was pretty sweet,
I had a house and food to eat,
And all I had to do was help it murder people.
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Dav
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Joined: 30 Oct 2005
Posts: 2867
Location: Rennes, France

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

awwww cool thanks jack fe, i tried to figure those lyrics out but there is a bunch of words i couldn't understand
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jack fe



Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Posts: 865

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thats fine. It took a while, but it's one of my favourite songs, and I'm trying to learn it all to annoy my friends.
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Dav
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Joined: 30 Oct 2005
Posts: 2867
Location: Rennes, France

PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2006 11:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

that's a good reason !
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Last edited by Dav on Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Will Oldham
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Joined: 14 Dec 2005
Posts: 1782
Location: Kent, England

PostPosted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 11:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

Cool, thanks Jack
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ema



Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Posts: 1074
Location: france

PostPosted: Mon Apr 17, 2006 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hehe, great jack, cheers!
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fabalbert



Joined: 29 Apr 2006
Posts: 435
Location: London

PostPosted: Thu Jun 01, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"and all I had to do was help him murder people".

Classic Very Happy
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penny lane



Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 45
Location: cork, ireland

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 12:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

and a ripple of shocked laughter throught the crowd Very Happy
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