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If I had a girl on 9th avenue
I know exactly what she would do
She would wander at dawn look around at folks
Find someone better looking who tells better jokes
And then she'd leave me and I'd walk back east alone

9 8 7th avenue
Now I'm crossing Madison
Sobbing on Park Avenue
Feeling bad on Lexington
3 2 1st avenue
Going east with the wind
Cross the FDR to the east river
Fall right in

And if I had a girl on 10th avenue
I know exactly what she would do
She would wander at day look at all the guys
Find someone who'se read more books and has bluer eyes
And then she'd leave me and I'd walk back east alone

9 8 7th avenue
Now I'm crossing Madison
Sobbing on Park Avenue
Feeling bad on Lexington
3 2 1st avenue
Going east with the wind
Cross the FDR to the east river
Fall right in

And if I had a girl on 11th avenue
I know exactly what she would do
She would wander at night hang around at bars
Find someone who draws better and plays prettier guitar
And then she'd leave me and I'd walk back east alone

9 8 7th avenue
Now I'm crossing Madison
Sobbing on Park Avenue
Feeling bad on Lexington
3 2 1st avenue
Going east with the wind
Cross the FDR to the east river
Throw myself in

Until the scum in the east river would drown me
The phlegm and rotten rats would surround me
The shattered cars at the bottom all around me
Until I was just another scum in the east river

And when I become the scum it's my job to drown
The pathetic hopes and failures of the next unloved clown
Though maybe it would be a girl and we could become scum together
Decompose as the river flows
Become one scum together
Become one forever
One bloated rotten putrid scum forever

9 8 7th avenue
Now I'm crossing Madison
Sobbing on Park Avenue
Feeling bad on Lexington
3 2 1st avenue
Going east with the wind
Cross the FDR to the east river
Fall right in