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[fortuneandglory]

Hi, I've recently decided to emerge from the shadows and stop lurking (with the help of the estimable Dav) and rather than do the usual, "Hi, my name's Kate and I'm from Glasgow" stuff, I thought I'd talk a bit about something that's been bothering me lately, though I know it shouldn't.

The thing is...I can't help but think that I'm too enthusiastic and wide-eyed, and that I should be more cynical about stuff. Does that sound strange? I mean, ever since I was 13, music has been the most important thing in my life. It sounds daft, but I honestly feel that music affects me more deeply than most people. A certain chord change, rhythm or tone of voice can have me literally jumping for joy. It means the world to me. And even though I know there's a scientific reason for why minor chords affect you in that way, science can't explain the feeling I get sometimes. Like Jeff's version of 'Waiting For A Change', when he sings, "We can't live on dreams any more..." oh God, that gets me right there! Right there, every time. And maybe I'm so affected by Jeff's own songs because he addresses the stuff that I feel every day, like, oh shit, I'm 26, and I've done nothing at all. My friends are having babies and careers, and I'm in a load of debt, I live in rented accommodation and I'm going to be unemployed next week. I don't have any clue what I'm here to do, except hopefully be there for my friends and parents and help people.

But I digress, and this isn't meant to be about The Many Woes And Existential Crises Of Kate! I used to go to gigs with my best friend from school when we were teenagers, but she grew out of it. I've always had the feeling that she kind of looks down on me for still being so into it, for going the extra mile, travelling to another city for a special night out, always being the one who knows about bands, but hasn't channelled it into a successful* career as a music journo or something. It seems fashionable these days to be a cynic and never to be enthused about anything, but I could never be that way. I'm so excitable. So I suppose what I'm asking is, does anyone else know what the hell I'm talking about, and does anyone sympathise?! Sorry this is so long. You deserve a medal if you read it all.

*I had to look this word up. I can't even SPELL successful, let alone be successful...

[jack fe]

I sympathise. I think I'll be having this problem somewhere down the line. But the best feelings in the world, for me, come from music and friends, and you seem much the same. If you have both those things then you have nothing to worry about.

Nothing gives me as much joy as the moment in 'Mayfly' by Belle & Sebastian where the synthesizer kicks in. Mmmm. I think that's the best way to be.
So what if you don't have a big career. Things that seem meaningless to some people are important to others. Don't worry what people may or may not think.

Welcome to the board!!
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myspace.com/frozymusic

[Kieron]

yes, welcome! i remember visiting a friend in birmingham a few years ago. i'd seen jeff and jack the night before, and got incredibly drunk. i told my mate and he said he knew someone in his early 30s who was at the gig, and how he really should have moved on and grown up. i listened to this intently, and could see his point. now i'm in my 30s, still seeing loads of gigs (especially local lo-fi stuff) and i see no reason to stop... i even told my mate about this (just this weekend in fact) and seems he totally gets it now. i have a kind of career far removed from music, but it's still music (and riding bikes) that keeps me sane.

[AFB]

Kate - I read it all to the end! No - it speaks to me, but from both sides.

I know what you mean about lyrics, notes affecting you - I've been listening to a song quite a bit recently by Paul Baribeau called Never Got To Know - and parts of that song kill me. I still play in a few bands, play gigs around the country, release proper albums, shit albums and albums that are just a joke that no one will listen to. But it's FUN! Music is all I got and have no reason to stop.

However... I get people on this facebook thing that I used to know years ago that see a picture of me playing and say: "I see you're still doing the whole music thing" - how patronising is that?!

But from the complete other side - I'm a journalist writing for an international magazine, I get to talk to the people who make Shrek. I had the dude who did the special effects for Who Framed Roger Rabbit in my office yesterday - now these things are cool. I even do a lot of music journalism to reference something you mentioned. So I don't know - maybe this suggests I'm doing okay, but it's also made me one of the most cynical motherfuckers around because i;m doing what people may think is good and worthwhile but it's not because it can be boring as hell and well... it isn't going to gigs, playing music and creating some completely new.

So stay where you are Kate - you're not too old, you shouldn't be doing other things because it wouldn't bring you as much joy. Find more people who want to go to gigs and do that stuff, it's what I should be doing and one day I'll be heeding my own advice.

There we go, I match your long post with one of my own. Now, back to work.

[jack fe]

God damn, that Paul Baribeau song floors me every time as well. I cried so much the first time I heard it. It's pretty intense.
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myspace.com/frozymusic

[AFB]

Yeah it kinda comes out of nowhere, right?

Love Grand Ledge as well - great record.